I’m trying to stop biting my nails.

Not stop altogether, because I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember, and the last time I tried to give up altogether I lasted over a month until eventually being defeated by – and this’ll make you laugh – by the fact that having nails just felt really really weird -  intolerably weird in the end; not to mention that I kept drawing blood every time I scratched.

So, this time I’m aiming to not bite my nails as much, a decision brought on by the fact that the nails on most of my fingers have been really sore because I’d bitten them too short.  ‘Too short’ meaning, basically, down to bloody scraps.

And what am I using, apart from the indomitable Carter willpower?  Well, this’ll probably make you laugh as well.  The secret weapon is…

Emery boards.

Yup, emery boards: those little nail file things that ladies use to make their nails look lovely.

Here’s how it works.  I bite my nails in a (literally) never-ending attempt to tidy them up.  The problem is, as you probably know if you’ve ever bitten your nails, the very act of biting the damn things leaves them a bit ragged – there will inevitably be bits hanging off and edges poking out.  I’ve gotten into the terrible habit whenever I’m not concentrating on anything in particular of unconsciously scraping my nails against my fingers or trousers looking for ragged edges that need ‘tidying’ (or ‘biting’, if you prefer).

I’ve figured out that if my nails aren’t ragged and no edges are to be found that need ‘tidying’ then I’m far less tempted to bite them; so on Saturday I bought some emery boards and filed them all down so they’re ‘nice’ and ’smooth’.

The downside of this is that now I can’t use them to scratch (they may have been short before, but at least they were sharp.  In places.  Sometimes).

The upside is that so far they haven’t been ‘tidied’ for 48 hours – which is a hell of a long time for me!