Ah, the Sinclair ZX Spectrum – it taught me everything I know about computer gaming and programming: which is to say, not a great deal, but enough to get by.

I wanted to post two links garnered from the hilarious and irreverent (i.e., your mother wouldn’t like it) B3TA, showing the endings of two classic Spectrum games, The Hobbit and Valhalla.

If you’re under 30, think a ‘ZX Spectrum’ is a Japanese motorbike, and haven’t already found something more interesting to do then you might as well leave – this isn’t for the likes of you.

I may as well confess that to the best of my knowledge I never ever completed a ZX Spectrum game so these screens are all new to me.  And, having seen them, I don’t feel I missed out on anything.

First, The Hobbit.  A legendary early adventure game on the Spectrum because it had graphics.  Have a look at the end screen here.

Don’t you just love that?  Bilbo completes the arduous quest, comes home and puts the valuable treasure in the wooden chest.  It strikes me as quintessentially English.  I imagine him having a sit down and a cup of tea after that; maybe a nap, too.

The next one, Valhalla, is a bit darker.  Again, an adventure game.  Again legendary in that had live-action animation.  Sort of.  Have a look at the end screen here.

Very different to the Hobbit, don’t you think?  Very ‘Norse’ in its bleakness.  Very existential.

Like Bilbo in The Hobbit the hero completes the arduous quest, and yet to what end?  It’s a darkly hollow victory: people come in, offer their congratulations and leave.  More people come in, offer their congratulations and leave.

Everybody leaves.