Things I learned on a stag do in Swindon on Saturday.

  1. Never go to lap dancing clubs.  Never ever ever ever ever ever go to lap dancing clubs, no matter how much the “stag” wants to.

Umm… And that’s it, really.  On an otherwise enjoyable stag night the stag decided he needed to go to a bar with scantily clad ladies dancing.

Despite the protestations of everyone else on the stag that they didn’t want to go, that there was no need to go to a lap dancing club just because it was a stag do, three of us ended up in one of the most hideously embarrassing situations I’ve ever been in (and I’ve been in some hideously embarrassing and hard-to-explain situations!)

There is some bravado at the door as we banter with the bouncer, then we go in the club and buy some drinks.

The stag announces he is just off to the loo.

And then…

..stag disappears and is not seen again.

Various ladies in their underwear come and talk to myself and friend; we make stilted, embarrassed “conversation” with ladies in their underwear for about ten minutes before going to look for the stag – who has gone.

My friend and I run away from ladies in their underwear exit the club immediately, relieved and confused.

On a more positive note: Millie’s fourth birthday party was a wonderful affair, with lots of people in crowns and cloaks and ball gowns and so forth.  There will be lots and lots of pictures up as soon as possible, but I had to head off to Swindon for the stag do once the party had ended so haven’t sorted them out yet.

One of my favourite long-term memories of the event will, I suspect, be that Millie ended up naked again – it’s becoming a bit of a habit with her.

I’ve got pictures of my fourth birthday and nobody there is naked; both my brothers’ fourth birthdays – nobody naked.

Millie’s fourth birthday – naked.  In fact, as you’ll see in the pictures – Millie blowing the candles out on her cake – naked! :-)

Millie’s friend, Ben, who’s the same age as her – not naked.

Amber – not naked (although, only wearing a nappy).

The Lovely Melanie – not naked (sadly).

Thanks very much to everyone who made it to the party, and especially for making the effort with the princes and princesses theme – it was a sight to behold, and I’m now strongly tempted to wear my crown, robe and sword everytime I go out! ;-)