So, imagine a nine-year-old girl. Let’s say her name is, er… Sillie.
Sillie has an old mobile phone she uses for music and dancing, a little bit of gaming, and to watch videos. Sillie’s phone doesn’t have a SIM card, so she can’t call anyone with it, but otherwise it’s fine.
Then, one day, the battery starts to go- her phone turns off at random and can’t decide whether it’s been charged or not. Sillie’s dad (who’s bloody clever, and a wiz with technology – as well as being really handsome and sexy) flashes a new ROM and buys a new battery, which seems to fix things for a while. But the same problems come back.
Eventually Sillie’s phone is no more and she is sad.
So, Sillie’s clever and handsome dad buys her a used mobile from eBay. This one doesn’t even have a SIM card slot, it’s the Android equivalent of an Apple Touch. He tells Mill – er, Sillie a new phone is coming and she is very happy.
The new phone takes ages to arrive because the delivery company cannot find the address of my – er, Sillie’s dad’s work (they get confused and try to deliver it to a nearby alcohol dependency unit), but Sillie is remarkably patient and grown-up about it.
Until, that is, the day the new phone finally arrives. On that day she goes inexplicably mental at the dinner table, having a tantrum about meal they eat every week.
As a result, the new phone is put away for another three whole days, and Sillie has to be very very good indeed for those three days if she ever wants to see her new phone.
And in other news, Amber has started sleepwalking. An hour or two after bedtime she’ll rejoin us in the living room: walk in without a word, try to scoop an invisible something off the floor, then sit down on the sofa with us.
The first time it happened we waited for her to speak, assuming she’d had a nightmare or something; but no, she sat down without a word, not even waking up when I carried her back up to bed.
It’s rather sweet, actually. :-)