More baby sick


The scene: Millie has just been fed, but is plainly unhappy about something as she is crying quite loudly. Her dad is sat on the sofa holding her to his chest trying to settle her down ready for bed. Dad is in something of a hurry as, having recently discovered he is now officially “overweight”, he wants to do half an hour on his exercise bike before dinner.

MILLIE: Waah! (Coughs) Waaaaaaah!

DAD: (Gently) Come on, poppet, calm down, calm down. All right, all right…

MILLIE: (Even louder) WAAAAAAAH!

DAD: (Gently) No, no, no, no, no, love. Easy now…

MILLIE: (Coughs, looks alarmed)

DAD: Umm…

(Millie vomits a thick white substance down Dad’s front for about two seconds)

DAD: Melanie!

(Millie vomits a thick white substance down Dad’s front for about two seconds)

DAD: Melanieeeeee! Melanie!!

(Millie vomits a thick white substance down Dad’s front for a further three seconds)

DAD: MELANIE!!!! MELANIE!!!

(Millie briefly vomits a small amount of thick white substance down Dad’s front)

LOVELY MELANIE: (From offstage) What?

DAD: Can you come in here, please. Quickly!

LOVELY MELANIE: (Entering the room) What?

(Millie vomits a thick white substance down Dad’s front)

DAD: Quickly!!

LOVELY MELANIE: Oh. Hold on a sec. (She leaves the room)

(Dad sniffs, grimaces. He notices Millie’s face is covered in sick where it’s soaked into his top. He sighs)
(Millie coughs, then vomits a thick white substance down Dad’s front)

DAD: Melanie!

LOVELY MELANIE: (Re-entering the room) Stop making such a fuss. I have to deal with this on my own when you’re not here. I think she’s finished now. (To Millie) Have you finished, munchkin?

(Millie coughs, then vomits a thick white substance onto a towel held by Melanie. Millie begins to cry)

LOVELY MELANIE: (Sympathetically, to Millie) You should stop eating if you’re full, Millie-moo. (Briskly, to Dad) Give her to me.

(Dad hands her over to Lovely Melanie, then looks down at his vomit-covered top and jeans; he is unsure how to get the top over his head and off without getting vomit on his face)

(Millie begins to cry, loudly)

But despite all this, Millie still weighed in at a hefty 11lb 14oz earlier in the week.

Quite an increase from 1lb 70z, eh?

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