Downs. And an up.


Good grief, talk about a day of ups and downs.  The Lovely Melanie was away last night, out with friends in Putney, where she stayed the night as it’s remarkably difficult to get home from there of an evening.

I was woken up this morning by Millie, who had managed to precisely place a poo on the toilet seat.

Then AmberG (our new name for eBub) started screaming ten minutes later – really screaming, too, not just a bit of bog-standard grizzling.  She was really hot in her cot, so Millie and I brought her into my bed to calm – and cool- down.  She was very subdued and sleepy, but not unhappy.

I was quite unhappy when she sicked her breakfast up five minutes after pushing it away and saying “Nah“.

I was more unhappy when 15 minutes later she threw up while sat on my lap.

I was marginally less unhappy when she threw up again, but by the time after that I was getting pretty blasé about it (although, Millie’s lackadaisical manner upon being asked to quickly pass the kitchen roll upped my unhappiness quotient again).  Fortunately I’d only put on my swimming trunks when I got up that morning (legacy of a lovely day before spent at Camber Sands in the blazing sunshine).

Next up, Millie has finally conceded that pedalling a bike by using both feet and pushing the pedals round and round instead of backwards and forwards with one foot is a superior method of locomotion, so eager as I was to see her ride a bike properly we went to the shops after breakfast and showers and scrubbing of floor.  Millie was on her bike and a plainly not-right AmberG in the buggy.

Now, it’s fair enough that Millie was tired from stupidly refusing to go to sleep until a ridiculous 10pm the night before, but she was just an absolute @*$#ing nightmare all the way to the shops.  Bearing in mind that I’d already cleaned her poo off the toilet and been vomited on three times it’s a miracle they haven’t found her little body buried under our patio.

It took us 35 minutes to reach the shops, a journey I normally walk in ten minutes, and all the way there was spent either grizzling, screaming, shouting at her bike, smacking her bike, shouting at me, howling with inchoate rage or all of the above simultaneously.  We had to stop four times for me to try and calm her down as there seemed a real danger that she was going to completely and utterly lose it.  We stopped twice more for me to ignore her until she calmed down, another three times to rub legs or arms where she’d gotten so furious that she’d hurt herself and once for me to simply yell “Shut up!” at her.

Upon finally reaching the shops we stopped to eat an ill-deserved but much-needed ice cream, whereupon I sat Millie down and told her in no uncertain terms what a nasty, horrible, shouty little madam she had been so far that day and that if she didn’t buck her damn ideas up there was no way we were going to the cinema this afternoon.

Ideas, thankfully, were significantly bucked and Millie went to the cinema for the first time this afternoon.  It wasn’t an unqualified success, to be honest.  The film, G-Force 3D, was a little bit too complex for her and the special glasses you had to wear to see the 3D effects were so big they wouldn’t even stay on Millie’s head (she gave up on them after ten minutes – although, not before one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen: when a particularly 3D effect shot towards us she looked over her shoulder to try and see where it went. :-D)

For the rest of the film she commented loudly upon any scene she thought would be improved by a loud comment and shouted questions – such as the marvellous “What on earth is going on?!” – every five minutes.  But I think she enjoyed it – she certainly enjoyed the popcorn!

Oh, and “This place smells funny!” were her first words upon her first entrance to a cinema.

AmberG is still not well; she’s eating and drinking, thank goodness, but is very very hot and has been either cuddling or sleeping all day, the poor little thing. 😦

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