More racist sandwiches? No, I couldn’t possibly… Well, perhaps just one more…

Another day, another LibDem leaflet sandwiched between those of two racist f***wit parties.

This time, a UKIP one and a Tory one.

The Lovely Melanie was curious what the difference was between UKIP and the BNP so she had a read.

The difference seems to be that if you’re not ashamed of being called a racist you vote BNP.

If you’re a little bit more sensitive (but still a racist) and would rather people didn’t know you were a racist then you vote UKIP.

So there you go – Stu’s ongoing guide to the general election. ๐Ÿ˜€

And the LibDems aren’t racist at all, so far as I know, but in my head they’re soon going to become racist by association.

Gordon Brown, on the other hand, is obviously not a racist, since he was was “caught” calling a woman with some bigoted views a bigot.ย  I rather like that – it actually makes me more likely to vote for him.ย  Shame he then denied saying it and felt the need to apologise to the bigot in question. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Big racist sandwich

We finally got some general election literature delivered yesterday (eights days before the polls open).ย  There were three leaflets delivered together, which prompts me to ask two questions:

  1. Have those three parties banded together to save on distribution costs?
  2. Did the LibDems know their leaflet would be sandwiched between those of two racist f***wit parties (the BNP and the English Democrats)?

Because if they did then it doesn’t give a very good impression of the LibDems. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

It’s the one thing I really don’t like about Bexley: that we get so many racist f***wit parties standing – and that’s not even including the racist f***wit Tories!

The weekend

No entry this weekend as I’ve been busy, as we so often are at weekends.

Friday I went to see The Rime Of The Modern Mariner in the East End, which was really rather good.ย  A fraction too long, perhaps, but that was more than ameliorated by having Stephen Berkoff suddenly stroll out in front of us to introduce this film about the London Docks, screened in St Anne’s Church in Limehouse, a fantastic venue for just about anything, I’d say.

There were a lot of a haircuts (as trendy Hoxton folk are rather mockingly known) and although the initial signs weren’t very promising it turned out to be an excellent evening.ย  There was a band there, too, in order to provide live accompaniment to the film, but this was more of a nice affectation than anything else.ย  Still, it’s nice to see people trying to do interesting things in interesting places! ๐Ÿ™‚

We ended up afterwards in a nearby waterside pub that looked rather like a wine bar that had somehow made a daring escape from the ’80s, except for the fact that when large boats passed by their wake would slosh up against the shore and splash the very substance of the Thames onto our (indoor!) table.

For the rest of weekend the Lovely Melanie was away seeing some old university friends so it was just me and the girls at home together – an occasion which I had been trying very hard not to think of as a trial simply to be gotten through.ย  Fortunately it was nothing of the sort, and despite the occasional trip to Benchester by both girls we had a really rather enjoyable time of it.ย  The Lovely Melanie’s iron rod of discipline and nutrition was relaxed a little, but anarchy didn’t quite reign.

Instead we visiting my friends Jo and Si in Ladywell on Saturday afternoon, all of us enjoying the weather in their garden there, and being amazed by the short (less than an hour) journey time via the train from our house to theirs.ย  The afternoon’s tranquility was shattered only slightly by the unscheduled collapse of a hammock that both girls had been swinging in for a good hour beforehand.ย  Nobody was hurt, but Amber – who took a while to be tempted into the hammock’s duplicitous embrace in the first place – was utterly and completely horrified by the collapse, seemingly seeing it as final proof that you can’t really trust anything that isn’t your own genetic father or mother.

Millie, bless her, laughed the whole thing off, but Amber was so shocked that she wouldn’t even let me cuddle her at first, instead wandering around, crying, as though shell-shocked after some mind-numbingly awful holocaust and not the simple collapse of an otherwise fine hammock.

Thank you to Jo and Si for having us round, anyway – it was a smashing afternoon. ๐Ÿ™‚

And today…we had a bit of a lie-in until gone eight o’clock, then took a trip to the shops, had lunch (where I introduced Millie and Amber to the delights of Marmite with chips…) and then waited for the Tesco man to bring us our shopping and for the Lovely Melanie to bring us…well, just some of her loveliness! ๐Ÿ˜€

Living in fear

Both the girls were living in fear this morning. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

AmbyG is extremely nervous of Millie’s old singing and bouncing Tigger toy.

She’s OK when he’s sitting still, but he got some new (rechargeable!) batteries yesterday so is bouncing once again.

And that makes Amber nervous.

Watchful.

Edgy.

Mistrustful…

Millie, on the other hand, started to watch Disney’s version of The Jungle Book this morning (because she has a book from school about it).ย  I left her to watch that on the computer for a few minutes while I had a shower.

Unfortunately, when I came out I found a subdued Millie hovering nervously outside the bathroom door.

What’s wrong, poppet?” I blithley asked – she’d been terrifically excited about seeing The Jungle Book five not minutes before.

I-I don’t like the Shere Khan,” she mumbled with a wobbly bottom lip.

Try as we might to remember (and I’ve got quite a good memory for this kind of thing) it’s all too easy to forget what scared us – and how very scared we could be – when we were little.

I’m sure I was more scared by Kaa, the snake, than I ever was by Shere Khan though…

So we had a little cuddle and a chat about how it’s only a film and sometimes films are meant to be scary, and being scared then can be fun, and how Shere Khan wouldn’t be a very good tiger if he wasn’t at least a little bit scary.

And then Millie went off and scared Amber with the bouncing Tigger toy. ๐Ÿ˜›

St George’s Day!

I couldn’t believe it this morning!ย  I came out of my house wearing my St George’s flag to celebrate the day of England’s patron saint (although he’s also that of Aragon, Catalonia, Ethiopia, Georgia, Greece, Lithuania, Palestine, Portugal, and Russia, as well as the cities of Amersfoort, Beirut, Fakiha, Bteghrine, Cรกceres (Spain), Ferrara, Freiburg, Genoa, Ljubljana, Gozo, Milan, Pomorie, Preston, Qormi, Rio de Janeiro, Lod, Barcelona and Moscow)

Anyway – I came out wearing my St George’s flag and there was a huge PC brigade lynch mob who tried to tell me to take my flag off!

Well, I say “huge PC Brigade lynch mob,” that’s not strictly true.ย  What I actually mean is there was a policeman who tried to tell me it’s against the law to celebrate St George’s Day because the council had said…

Oh, no, wait.ย  That’s not true either.

Well, at any rate I thought it was disgusting that people were afraid to display the flag of St George on their own country because…

No, hold on, that can’t be right – there were loads of flags on display this morning…

Surely there must have been some Muslims who were deeply offended by my St George’s flag and complained to the Health & Safety Executive…?

No.

None of this actually happened, and none of it has ever actually happened, no matter how hard some right-wing factions of this country may perversely wish for it.

Sorry.

But a happy St George’s day to everyone!ย  ๐Ÿ™‚

Let’s take a minute or so to remember a few things that we can be proud of about this country:

  • the NHS
  • a public broadcasting system that’s the envy of the world
  • democracy (flawed though it may be)
  • a welfare system that ensures no one starves on the streets
  • freedom of speech (for the most part)
  • and last but not least the wonderful people of England who have in the past fought – and even died – for all of those things.

This morning’s checklist

Wake up – check

Kiss Lovely Melanie – check

Go downstairs and make cup of tea – check

Shave head – check

Fix broken computer whilst drinking tea – check ๐Ÿ˜€

Explain about Daddy fixing broken computer to Millie (note: Millie to remain unimpressed) – check

Wake Amber up – check

Remove Amber’s dirty nappy – check

Get Amber back from Millie’s room – check

Put clean nappy on Amber – check

Have shower, clean teeth, get dressed – check

Clean boots with help of girls – check

Clean shoe polish off Amber’s hands – check

Clean shoe polish off walls – check

Go to work – phew… check!