Going on

It’s been a busy few days and a very up and down few, too.  I’ve been out at work, at a pub quiz (which we won by quite a big margin) and at the cinema, all of which have kept me from posting here.  But on nights when I have been in it’s been spent slumped in front of the TV unable/unwilling to do much of anything.

Work has been busy, nights out have been nice, but the couple of nights spent in have been a bit…crushing.  I’ve been short with the girls in the mornings, too – surprising even myself with a temper that seems to flare up for absolutely no good reason. 😦

There was a moment the other day when, just for a second, I completely forgot Trev was gone and thought about ringing him to ask about something.  That was very weird.

And I still, if I haven’t thought of him for a while, have to perform the mental equivalent of checking my pockets for my keys to make sure that, yes, he definitely did die, that it wasn’t just some vividly remembered nightmare.

I know this isn’t what Trev would have wanted, but it’s heartbreaking trying to get through it every single day: just wading upstream through this thick loss all of the time.

At least we had Amber’s 3rd birthday – sorry, I mean Snow White party to distract us at the weekend (photos can be seen here).  That was a fun day, although I know we all found it difficult at times.  Amber got a ton of presents, and her sister didn’t badly out of it either.  My niece, Isobel, even made her first trip out of Swindon to come to the party.  My mum and dad stayed overnight, too, and my dad and Millie helped put up a second-hand shed donated by my friend Nik.

A very nice shed it is, too.

And I’ve been organising a few things both to remember Trev by and to help maintain the sanity of those of us still here.  The Lovely Melanie, Conny and I are going to see Chas and Dave in a few weeks.  Trev loved Chas and Dave; I like Chas and Dave, but not as much as Trev did.

We’re also organising a weekend away in the Isle of Wight for Trev’s birthday – booking a huge old rambling house in Yarmouth that sleeps 30-40 people and going there on Trev’s birthday to…well, probably to get drunk and stay drunk for 48 hours if I’m to be completely honest about it.  That’s certainly what we did the last time we visited there so I think iwtwhw.

There’s a Big Trev Trip group on Facebook, but if you’re not on Facebook and are interested in coming then email me – godlessheathen AT stupc.co.uk.  The plan is to go there on the weekend of the 23-25th September, the weekend before Trev’s birthday.  And it’ll be cheap, too – iwtwhw

Now, I’m tired and I’m not really enjoying writing this so I’m going to lie down and quietly read my book, Timothy Wu’s The Master Switch (on the Kindle app on my phone), for a bit.

Good night.

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