I’ve said this before but I’m going to say it again because it happens to be true:
A large part of my brain still refuses to accept that I’m never going to see Trev again.
No matter how many times I tell myself it’s true, no matter how many times I suddenly remember “He’s dead”, no matter how many times I’m reminded of him, no matter how many times I look at photographs and smile sadly…
No matter how many times all of these things occur there’s still a sneaky little voice in the back of my head that whispers: yeah, that’s right, yeah, but we’ll see him again soon.
But then even a more rational part of my head – one with a less sneaky voice and a modicum of common sense – can’t help but agree.
Sneaky voice does have a point, it says, I mean, surely we’ll see Trev again one day, won’t we? He can’t just be…gone. For him to be gone forever would be ridiculous.
And the common sense voice laughs nervously.
Which is when the reality crashes in on me yet again – Trev is gone for good. No matter how long I live, he’ll never come back. All we have left of him are memories.
Wonderful memories, but still just memories.