Back at the Geek Squad desk on Oxford Street this morning at 9.03am (three minutes after they open).
ME (in full-on Brian Blessed mode): Hello! Where is my phone! You told me it would take 2-3 days to replace! It’s now been five! Where is it?!
GEEK: Er, who are you?
ME: I’m the guy whose phone stopped working, who brought it in almost a fortnight ago for you to fix, then received a text message from you telling me it was fixed when in fact it wasn’t because it had been lost – along with an entire lorry of phones – and you were going to replace it within 2-3 days. Where is my phone, damn your eyes?!
GEEK: Ah, I see. You’re getting good at telling that story, aren’t you?
ME: Yes! I’m also getting a bit shout-y! Now, where is my phone?!
GEEK: Well, there’s quite a funny story behind that, sir…
ME: Do you see me being amused?! Where is my phone?!
GEEK: It’s been stolen.
ME: I know that! I just told you that in my synopsis of the story so far!
GEEK: No, it’s been stolen again. The replacement that was being sent to the store has been stolen.
ME: Ha ha! Yes, that is quite a funny story. Now, give me my phone!
GEEK: No, really, we’ve had a lorry containing many of the replacement phones for people whose phones had been stolen from the last lorry stolen.
ME: Run that by me again…
GEEK: It’ll be another couple of days.
ME: OK, see you in a couple of days.