Damn it, my super parent powers failed me this morning when trying to solve a most heinous crime: who picked the paint off the stairway wall?

Somebody in our house has picked a hole in the (admittedly already peeling) paintwork on our stairs.

This criminal mastermind even left the flakes on the stairs!

Millie – was it you?

Uh-huh, you think it was Amber?  Hmm, well let’s try the Patented Parenterrogation method on her, then.

Amber – who picked the paint off the wall by the stairs?

Oh, you don’t know, eh?  Are you quite sure?

Oh, you are sure.  Hmm.

If you were responsible and you tell me now I’ll be a lot less angry than if I find out you’re lying.  Are you lying?

You’re not lying.  Umm…  You’re sure?

You are sure.  Damn.

Right, well, er…if it wasn’t you and it wasn’t Millie, who was it?

You don’t know.

No, it couldn’t have been the chickens.

No, Mummy first noticed it, it wasn’t Mummy.

No, it wasn’t me either.  Don’t be silly.

All right, off you go.  But this isn’t over yet, young lady – I’ve got my eye on you.  Sooner or later you’re going to slip up, and when you do I’ll be there to nick you!


  1. Stu, too many questions! One statement followed by a steely silence is a tactic well known to make people to spill the beans….Sitting down with one of the suspects and saying, “You know… i’m trying to find out who peeled the paint off the staircase….” Then watch someone fess up or grass up. However, that does work with adults…children can be a vault.
    Btw, You sure it wasn’t YOU?

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