Two years is/n’t a long time

It’s two years since we last spoke, little brother – hard to believe it’s been so long.

Because every day that goes by, every hour, every minute, every second, breaks the record for time spent without you.  Two years seems inconceivable.

That’s the bad hard-to-believe.

The good hard-to-believe is that it feels like less than two years because we think of you every day.  That makes it easier: you’re still here in that sense: still making us laugh, still making us groan, still correcting our pathetically inadequate knowledge of World War I manoeuvres and tactics.

But still, we miss you.  Terribly.


It isn’t very exciting for you to read about, and it definitely isn’t very exciting for me to do, but I’m now officially trying to lose some weight.

The lead-up time to actually doing this has been lengthy – at least 4-5 months – but, you know: Christmas, winter, birthday, etc.  All those things conspired to put me off.

Well, now they’re past and it’s time to get (reasonably) serious.  I’ve joined a charity weight loss challenge at work, part of a team called SupercalorieflabelasticXXLedonuts (my name – rather proud of it), downloaded some exercise apps on my phone, and – much to the Lovely Melanie’s amusement – I’ve bought Paul McKenna‘s Hypnotic Gastric Band book.

Why the book?  I’m fascinated to see if it will work, frankly.  Can something so apparently simple actually make a difference?  Well, let’s see…

I hate gyms and playing almost all sport, so the phone apps are to give me some simple and convenient exercises to do at home, whenever I have a few spare minutes.  I don’t want to join a gym or go out running, but if I can get into the habit of doing some exercises while, say, waiting for the kettle to boil, that can only help, right?  Plus, I do genuinely enjoy walking, so maybe I can persuade the family to walk more and to walk to places for pleasure.  Maybe.

My diet will also be changing a bit – not a lot, just a bit.  Last time I did this (before the girls were born) it was relatively simple to reduce my portion sizes, eat fewer biscuits (my persistent nemesis – biscuits and a cup of tea…) and do less snacking.

I stood on the scales yesterday for the start of the charity weight loss challenge thing and was found to 14 stone 5 lbs (I was relieved to be under 15 stone!)

So let’s see how far my unique combination of soft exercise, cutting edge hypnotherapy and shoe leather get me…

Furby takes control

I was in the shower this morning when Millie came in with her Furby.  We’re having some problems with this one, and it’s already a replacement for one that went wrong before, but recharging the batteries seems to fix it, albeit temporarily.

“Can you change the batteries on my Furby?”

“Yep.  I’ll do it when I come out of the shower, love.”

“But my Furby isn’t working.”

“Yes, but unfortunately, as you may have noticed, I’m in the shower.  I’ll do it when I’m out of the shower.”

“I suppose that’s going to take ten million hundred years!”

“Well, hopefully not, but I really am in the shower.”

“You don’t love me!”

“Right.  Fine.  Hand the fu…damn thing over, then.  I’ll do it now.  While I’m in the shower.”


“So, what do you suggest I do?”

And she stormed off.

Ten seconds later, Amber comes in.  She’s singing the Furby sha na-na-na song at the top of her voice.  She carried on singing it until we got to school – singing all round the house, through the woods and down the road.

She seemed to be having so much fun I joined in and we sang it together through the woods.

Millie was still sulking, however, and declined our invitation. 😛

Tales of the Tube, #43

Man at London Bridge Underground station (Northern Line) this morning is hammering on the windows of full-to-bursting trains shouting “Move down the f**king carriage!  F**king hell!  For f**k’s sake!  Move down the carriage you f**king c***s!”

What he doesn’t realise is that everyone on those trains is thinking the same thing – “And let you get on this train?  Not likely, you mad bastard.”

But the best thing was, after he squeezed himself onto the third packed train in a row, the fourth train was almost empty.

That’s what I call karma. 🙂

An abomination

Every morning before school (and sometimes in the evenings after school) Amber turns on the computer, clambers up onto the chair, goes to YouTube, types in “Harry trouble ginny”, hits return, and plays this bastard video over and over and over again.

She’s even started copying out some of the captions.

I can’t take much more of it, I tell you – I can’t!!  It makes the Nyan Cat seem perfectly benign by comparison!

Snow day

Snow pretty much killed the transport system in Kent yesterday, so I worked from home – as did the Lovely Melanie, although, she spent an hour and a half at Albany Park station, waiting for a train that never came.  I didn’t even bother going to the station, having heard her tales of struggling commuters, empty rails and baffled station staff when she returned home at 7.30am.

The girls’ school did open however, much to our relief.  Only 77% of pupils turned up, driving Mr Linnett, the headmaster, to send round an angry email asking why he bothered struggling in if parents weren’t even going to try!)  Don’t blame us, Mr Linnett – I pulled my children to school in a sledge to ensure they were all present and correct.  They squealed and howled with delight all the way there, which is always gratifying.

The chickens stood at the back door all day, looking slightly damp and annoyed.  Every time I went near the back door they’d get very excited and begin to squawk and peck at the glass.  Occasionally snow would fall off a tree onto them and they’d run off, flapping their wings.  No eggs today, either.  Tsk.

We picked the girls up from school to find Millie with wet hair (from a snowball) and wearing her PE bottoms, while Amber had wet feet and had slipped over at some point during the day.  I pulled them back home in the sledge, to an accompaniment of screams “More!  More!”

Today, rather sadly, everyone is back at work and school and normality has mostly resumed…

Working from home

Working From Home the StuPC way

With no trains into central London this morning (the Lovely Melanie spent 90 minutes waiting in the dark at the station) this is my workspace for today.

Very cosy, I hope you’ll agree, and perfect for a spot of blue-sky, outside-the-box thinking. 😛