A minor blip?


Things have been – mentally – pretty good for me for a while now. The thyroid tablets have helped a lot and I’ve almost stopped taking the anti-depressants completely.  Whilst I still miss Trev, still think of him every day, life had felt as though it was getting close to normal once again.  I could handle it now – time really is a great healer.

But my emotional state seems to be still a bit unstable – still vulnerable to upsets and inexplicable storms.

Yesterday, a case in point, came out of nowhere; like a smack in the face with the misery stick.

An entire day spent feeling miserable, useless, paranoid, and completely uncaring; to the point where I just wanted to avoid everyone, run out of work, get home and hide under the blankets.  Forever.

This morning, even after a good night’s sleep, I was still short-tempered with the girls and really tempted to phone in sick to work.

Fortunately, I didn’t, and fortunately I can put on a good (if very quiet) face, so no one even realised how bad yesterday was for me.

And fortunately, work seems to have helped calm me down and get things back on an even keel – which is bizarre, because I could have sworn yesterday work was part of the problem, rather than part of the cure.

I promise to stop saying “fortunately” now.

However, let’s hope yesterday isn’t going to be a regular fixture…

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5 comments

      • I couldn’t say for sure – you should have a chat with your doc … but the way I understand it, anti-depressants work to stablise (or increase?) natural production of serotonin which is why when you start them or come off them, your levels can jump about a bit until things settle. I also think that people can be fooled in to thinking that they are ‘better’ when actually it’s just the tablets that are doing their job.

        I should say though, that this is only my laymans understanding, I could be completely wrong.

  1. “But Doc, your esteemed colleague, Dr Legge, told me that drinking a spoonful of petrol was absolutely the state of the art in treatment of depression…”
    😛

    • Oh I didn’t see this. Cheeky get. Now I don’t feel like telling you that I spoke to The Doc (The *actual* Doc, not the one off ‘enders) who proceeded to confirm my theory as correct and true and of significant excellence for one of no training.

      Ner.

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