I’m still trying to get my parcel from Yodel. I have a horrible cold. It’s snowing.
None of these things is making my life easier or more enjoyable.
To keep morale up I am reduced to mentally editing the parcel delivery company’s website. Whenever reading anything on Yodel’s ironically titled Help pages I’m randomly inserting swear words.
What if I have missed my f***ing delivery?
I have received a s****y Yodel card with a f***ing parcel reference number on it.
Can my b*****d parcel be left with a f***ing neighbour or in a safe place at my f***ing property?
Can I collect my f***ing parcel from your s****y Service Centre?
What b*****d identification do I need to pick up my s****y f***ing parcel?
Well, it makes me feel a bit better…