“Because I love you”

The girls had to come with me to the doctor’s this morning – I had an 8am appointment to have a blood sample taken (to do with the thyroid business – nothing exciting).

As I opened my wallet to retrieve some paperwork for the receptionist the girls noticed a picture of them in there.

“Is that a picture of us?” asked Amber.

“Yes,” I replied.

“Why have you got a picture of us in your wallet?”

I paused for a split-second: why have I got that picture in my wallet?

The receptionist was looking at me; Amber was looking at me; Millie was looking at me; some old people in the waiting room looked up. An expectant hush had fallen across the doctor’s surgery.

Why does he keep their picture in there?

I thought “Because I love you”.

Then, in a tangled rush: Can I say that in front of strangers?  Will it be embarrassing?  What if someone laughs?  But do I want my children to know I love them?  Do I want them thinking it’s not OK to say that out loud?  Not OK to say that in front of people?  Thinking I’m embarrassed to say it?  That I value the opinion of strangers more than the feelings of my own children…?

“Because I love you,” I said.

And they both smiled at me.



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