This morning, shouted from the top of the stairs…
MILLIE: Do you know what I want for Christmas?
ME: Millie, it’s September; I haven’t thought about Halloween yet, let alone Christmas.
MILLIE: But have a guess.
ME: A pony.
ME: A giraffe.
ME: World peace.
ME: A boob job.
ME: A new graphics card. [This is a standing joke in our house]
ME: A full set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
ME: Control of the sea.
ME: The Breaking Bad box-set.
ME: I give up, what do you want for Christmas?
MILLIE: A ‘phone so I can play games on it.
ME: We have the tablet, you can play games on that. And the two smartphones. And the computer.
MILLIE: But I want my own ‘phone to play on.
ME: But not to ‘phone people on?
MILLIE: No, just to play on.
ME: You’ll be better off with a tablet, then.
MILLIE: But I just want a little ‘phone to play on – not a posh one like yours, just a little one.
ME: A tablet would be better for games and watching YouTube. (And probably cheaper, too).
MILLIE: A white one?
MILLIE: Like Izzy’s. A white one.
ME: I’ll have to talk to your mother about it.
ME: That’s not a yes, that’s a I’ll talk to Mummy about the possibility of maybe considering the chances of one day getting you a tablet.
MILLIE: Yay! I’m getting a tablet!
ME: No no no no no! I’ll have a talk with Mummy and…
MILLIE: Tablet! Tablet! Tablet!
THE LOVELY MELANIE: No.