My struggle to return it has become EPIC.
Once, there was a man who ordered a 28″ monitor from the hall of Dabs, it being of a goodly price.
The man, knowing his abode would BE unoccupied upon the next day (a Tuesday) did speak to Dabs and asketh them to deliver it upon the WEDNESDAY.
Dabs pondered the man’s request and did decide he was a fool to leave his abode vacant upon a Tuesday, for this was when prophecy specified the monitor would be delivered!
And lo, at sundown on a Tuesday the monitor was presented to the man’s good wife, as she arrived home from toiling in the fields with her children.
And Dabs was greatly pleased with itself, whilst the man could only admit his foolish error in asking for a Wednesday delivery.
But lo, the monitor was found to be faulty and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth!
And so the man did read the website of Dabs and there learned how to RMA the faulty monitor.
Also did he learn of Dabs’ returns policy and commitment to customer service, such that all emails would be answered within 72 hours.
And verily, following the law of Dabs, the man requested of Dabs that they refund his gold and taketh away the faulty monitor.
And in reply Dabs did say…nothing, for 72 hours had not yet passed!
After 72 hours did the man return to his emails, and there didst he find a communication from Dabs.
And Dabs did thank the man for his RMA and heaped much praise upon him and his family and requested of him a task:
TO NAME a convenient day for the monitor, damned now in the sight of Heaven, to be collected!
And the man did give unto Dabs a number of days for collection and then did wait for the 72 hours to pass.
And once 72 hours had passed did another email from Dabs arrive, thanking and praising the man and his family,
But alas, the email was false! It did proclaim all his chosen days unclean in the sight of Dabs and did ask him to choose again – this time more wisely.
And the man did elect to stay home from his fields with his children to await the arrival of the Dabs Courier!
But there was much anger on the chosen day when the Courier of Dabs did prove false in his promise.
The man and his family were greatly vexed and did write to Dabs asking “Why hast thou forsaken us, o Dabs?!”
And once the 72 hours had passed another email was received by the man, giving great praise to him and his family and much thanks for his patience.
And Dabs did give unto the man a promise that the Courier would return on the very next day.
But great confusion was there because the Courier’s destination was not the man’s abode, but another house of unknown address!
With sadness of heart did the man beseech Dabs to heed his house number and postcode,
And with growing shortness of patience did he inform Dabs that no one would be home upon the next day.
But – foolish man! – the ways of Dabs are plain for all to know upon their site of webs, and he could not receive an answer before 72 hours had elapsed!
And the Courier did Fail to appear at the man’s abode – although possibly, another unknown house did receive His shining visitation!
And the man did swear a solemn oath not to use Dabs again!