A post-antidepressant post

Following my popular post a couple of weeks ago on not being depressed and no longer taking antidepressants, how’s all that malarkey going?

In short: fairly well.

BrainZaps.pngProbably the worst side-effect has been the brain zaps, which I’m told are common when you stop taking antidepressants. They’re annoying rather than painful or dangerous, and feel exactly as you’d expect: like a tiny electrical shock to your brain.

Seriously, that’s what they feel like.

They last a couple of seconds at most, making you feel a bit dizzy and strange, nothing more, nothing less. I didn’t get them at all during the three months I spent reducing my citalopram dose, only after stopping completely. Then I was hit by a blizzard of them at all times of the day (I may have had some in my sleep, but if so they weren’t strong enough to wake me).

Anyway, we’re a month on and they’ve just about finished. The only difficult part is the mood swings, which are still a bit fierce at times. Every couple of days I find myself very short-tempered and impatient, which is the main reason I started taking antidepressants in the first place.

It’s annoying because I’m actually in a pretty good place at the moment – there’s no external reason for me to be snappy and grumpy. Of course, as anyone with depression will tell you, there’s often no visible reason for them to be unhappy, they just are.

But I’m rolling with the punches, trying to curb the temper and remind myself how good life is. I was unfortunate enough to be hit with a downturn last week on a day when I had two job interviews.

Yeah, that didn’t help.

I limped through the first one, doing my best to smile and sound super-enthusiastic for a seemingly never-ending audience of interviewers, when all I really wanted to do was leave. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t get that job. By lunchtime I was feeling considerably better, and the second interview seemed to go really well; but it’s a job interview, so who knows, right? Keep your fingers crossed for me. 🙂

With luck and a bit of patience, all these aftereffects will soon pass – being a grown man and having to apologise to your children for being so unreasonable is just a bit embarrassing, not least because they’re supposed to be the grumpy and unreasonable ones!

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